The Mystery of the Fake Orgasm

Pretty much every woman has faked an orgasm in her life and many women fake orgasms all the time. Orgasms are pretty awesome, so why would anyone want to do that??

First, it helps to understand a few things about women’s anatomy and what happens during sex. The woman’s clitoris is a hotbed of nerve endings and most frequently, a female orgasm will be reached through clitoral stimulation. There are much fewer nerves in the vagina where all the intercourse takes place. Over 70% of women do not and cannot reach an orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone and need additional clitoral stimulation to get there.

Sadly, a lot of the focus in sex is on the act of intercourse, which works pretty well for the guy, but not always so well for the gal. That doesn’t mean women don’t enjoy vaginal penetration; it just means that a bit more effort in the right places needs to be made. Most women have perfectly fine orgasms when masturbating with a vibrating toy or by hand.

So picture it: the guy is having a dandy time pumping away and the woman has gotten about as aroused as she’s going to get, unless there’s some additional action on her clitoris. She’s getting bored; she knows she’s not going to climax this way; she’s embarrassed to stimulate herself; she doesn’t want his ego to be bruised by saying something, so she fakes an orgasm to get on with it. There’s one reason.

But let’s say, the woman’s clitoris is getting a lot of attention from her partner – either through oral sex or manual stimulation. Still… nothing. She gets turned on, and then comes the plateau. He’s trying his best and she’s just not having an orgasm. She could be insecure about herself, her body, and her sexual prowess. She might feel vulnerable and not able to open up to a climax. She might feel that he’s impatient. He might not be doing it right for her. So she fakes it. Problem solved. Or is it?

Unless there is a medical issue, women fake orgasm most frequently for technique or emotional reasons. There are solutions! The woman has to find out what makes her tick and be able to communicate that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your sexual partner what you like and dislike. He’s not a mind reader and neither is the woman. Everyone is built differently and turned on by different things. So sit down in a non-threatening situation, say over coffee, and talk about it. Then when you get into bed, experiment, take your time and continue talking until you figure it out. Try out some different methods; introduce a sex toy to your routine; use some potions and lotions; do it in a different place than usual.

Women love sex and orgasms just as much as men do. Every faked orgasm is a missed opportunity to have a wonderful physical and emotional experience. Don’t give that up.